My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Houston, we have a blender
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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