forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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