It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize