I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
