it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
