Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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