I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize