And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
