i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
