I think I died a long time ago.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
