going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
