people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
