thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Randomize
