We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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