there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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