Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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