I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How external is "for external use only"?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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