yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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