so explain again why im purple
no
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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