he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
