My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize