To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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