the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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