yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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