you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
