Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
