It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
