You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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