He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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