She said her name was "party"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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