Is it because I queefed?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
