I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
