i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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