if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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