Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
