Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
