I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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