Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
