I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
