guys are not supposed to queef...right?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
