your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
