i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
