I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize