: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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