This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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