her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Hippo gnu deer
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
