i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
