I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
