i think my tv is drunk
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
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I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
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Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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