you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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