the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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