I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
