On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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