doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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