I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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