Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
