First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
