is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
