Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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