O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
