i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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