a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Found your dick twin last night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
