If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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