So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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