you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
