I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize