You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We have so much sex to catch up on
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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