Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
